InTastyCation

You all thought I was dead, didn’t YOU? Didn’t YOU?! SORRY to disappoint you, but I am back (although, slightly congested with a head swirl) to bring you another alcoholic concoction!! In his quest to quench his buddy’s thirst for blood 151 proof rum, Stephen C. Roberts has modified the Tutti Fruitti Martini towards a bearable taste/effectiveness ratio with his addition to adding 151 proof rum whilst using the leftover halves of fruit remnants you’ve chopped for him in Fruit Ninja. Yeah, there’s a lot of different fruit in this one, oddly though, it tastes like ingredients that weren’t even added. Fantom Phruits?! Check it out, there’s no metrics to this one if you want it to taste GOOD and be intastycating ;D any extra you can just share with your friends!

• Tutti Fruitti Martini •
Equal Parts of the following according to how much you’d want to consume (except ze yogurt):
• 151 Proof Rum
• Vodka (Pinnacle’s Whipped was used to give it more flavor)
• Strawberry Yogurt (Put 3 Tablespoons)
• Peach Schnapps
• Orange Juice
• Grapefruit Juice
• Pineapple Juice
• Splash of Grenadine

Boy, oh, boy (or “girrrlll” if you wanna be that way xD). This one is a slew of different fruit flavors, including flavors that weren’t even added, such as the taste of banana. Somehow, mixmaster Roberts was able to infuse a fruit basket into a martini glass with an alcoholic kicker that’d make the Chiquita banana chick stomp out her basket hat and wear this martini on her head instead. Well, funny situation while on that, the banana/cherry garnish you see there suicided from the side of my friend’s glass as it was being delivered; There goes your sign of jealousy for not being a main ingredient, but I’ve digressed; This here is your liquid luau minus the roast pigs, grass skirts, and fire-spinning linebackers.

It comes layered with light on top and dark, syrupy grenadine laying low. The milky top is your fruit basket, feeding the food processor (your mouth) a ticket to each individual fruit shaped roller coaster cart ride down your gullet. You get the taste of banana (R.I.P.) from a combo of the peach and grapefruit, you run into the strawberry tiptoeing around the taste of the tart/sweet confusion with the pineapple, which then leaves you with a mellow taste in your mouth.

Upon demolishing the top layer, you get down to my personal favorite part: that red syrup that has encapsulated the fruit flavors and dense intastycation of the schnapps, vodka, and 151 proof rum. It’s like melted candy for adults and provides a spectacular finish to the drink as it has a bit of that bite we all crave while ordering drinks in the first place. Mind you, it is quite a strong kicker, just not one too strong to really take you off of your feet in botched backflip fashion. While the taste of grenadine and strawberry flavor the syrup, you will notice the blood red isn’t there to tickle your fancy, but put you in the state frenzy with peach flavored rum/vodka. Rumka! Vodum! Okay, I’m done. It does seem like blood syrup, so all of you hardcore vampire fans can really enjoy your last drops (O.o)

Personally, my fruit to pick on this would be the top layer. It gave me a sense of confusion as to what was really in it, but most of all, it left me with a pasty after taste that really didn’t quench my thirst. The effect of it seemed to leave my mouth feeling like there was a missing “refresh” button I could poke with my tongue in the drink. Moreover, the challenge was to not concoct a candy syrup too strong to finish it off, but what can you do when it’s just going to sit and soak up all of the goodness at the bottom like a greedy sea urchin?! The drink as a whole is still good once you get all the way through, but the creamy top layer just confuses me too much and leaves me looking for an oasis to drink out of. And watch out for suiciding garnishes on toothpicks, you never know if it’ll take a finger out with it.

- David S.

What? Want to know the mixmaster behind bar, bringing you delicious intoxication intastycation? Visit his Facebook Fan Page and give him a “Like”! He releases his modified drink recipes periodically so you can share with all of your friends!

● Tootsie Roll Pop Shooters ●

● 1.5 oz Pinnacle Cotton Candy
● 0.5 oz Hazelnut Liqueur
● Splash of either Grape or Strawberry Soda. Any desired flavors may be used for effect!
● Garnish with a Cherry.

Now this is one of those shooters that I know everyone will want to try. As a kid, I know you all have seen the TV commercials for “Tootsie Roll Pops” featuring the old tortoise and the owl. Come on, I know all of you remember, “Ah one! Ah twoo! Ah three!” from your television sets! Of course, now, I would have to assume everyone has tried some. When the sweetness from the sugary shell fades away, then soon you’re greeted with the smooth chocolate (short-lived as it was just a 25¢ quality lollipop) at the center. This new original shooter, made with Pinnacle Cotton Candy Vodka has savored the flavor of your childhood pop and transformed it into an enjoyable experience years later, where all you can think is, “Man, I wish I was a kid again!”

With whatever flavor you decide to choose to mix it with, you will experience the closest taste to devouring the actual candy itself! On your first throwback, it drops the sweet tasting hard candy shell, sugary, yet satisfying to make you feel like you will start doing cartwheels in the next few seconds in sugar rush reaction. Oh wait…it didn’t take the “ah three” licks to get to the center? The smooth tootsie roll chocolate that mellowed out the taste of the hard candy? Yeah, I know you can taste it. It’s like a flash and it took less than a second to get to that center you thought you would have to fight soooo hard for. The taste of the “chocolate” is a bit nutty from the hazelnut liqueur, but it is potty trained well, to sit and wait until it is called to go (a little steep in example? Meehhhhh). From the beginning to end, it sends the sensation of dissolving a whole tootsie roll pop on your tongue within a few seconds and then what are you left with? Holding the stem. In this case, the cherry adds a nice finishing touch to the chocolate texture, re-igniting the flavor of the beginning of your adventure into oblivion, sending a reminder that the semi-clear color coat still has a say in what makes the Tootsie Roll Pop a Tootsie Roll Shot (;]). The cherry re-awakens the flavor just long enough to leave you lingering in your childhood memories and then you fade back into reality. Back behind your desk. Behind your computer. Supposedly doing work, but really checking out this blog about new drinks ;].

I had never tasted anything so close in accuracy to the actual item itself. The alcohol taste in it is not so strong as to overpower the taste of simple candy, but it is evident in the transition from a tart sweet to creamy, sugary sweet. That kick is what’s great because it reminds you of a time where things didn’t matter; You enjoyed the time you were in and you were happy; you had a blast. Enjoy this with your friends and loved ones and revel in a time you will make outrageous, happy memories.

Now, I wanna go hop around in puddles! Whose with me?!

- David S.

What? What’s that? You wanna know the mixmaster behind the the sugary sweet pop shot? Visit his Facebook Fan page and give him a “Like”! And maybe a dentist recommendation!

Also, if you like this blog, please remember to +Follow and keep in tune for the next review of some tasty drinks to share with all of your friends!

• Pumpkin Pie Martini •

• 2 oz. Pinnacle Cake flavored vodka or any vanilla flavored vodka
• 1 oz. Leche
• 0.5 oz. Butterscotch Schnapps
• 0.5 oz. Goldschläger or Cinnamon Schnapps
• 2 oz. Pumpkin Pie Filling
• Crushed Graham Crackers
• Whipped Cream

Ahhh winter holiday season; A time where family, love, and most of all, tradition bind together to make the most beautiful symphony of harmony among souls. For a lot of people, the traditions exclusively highlight one thing that is capable to seat family and friends together to present an opportunity for bonding: FOOD!!!
Now, I know a lot of things represent the holiday spirit for us, ranging from turkey, hams and yams, to the spectacularly sinful desserts we engorge only to regret later while standing atop a weight scale a few weeks later. One of these favorite desserts has been a mainstay for decades and unless a weaponized viral pesticide was accidentally released, targeting and destroying pumpkins towards extinction, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Yes, everyone will remember the famous Pumpkin Pie that they wish they could liquify so they could run an IV drip of sugary sin straight to the heart. Well, guess what? With this martini, you probably can!! (Warning: Seriously, put those syringes away, I’m just kidding.)

Stephen Roberts has done it again with accuracy and precision in making a drink taste so much like the dessert, you can practically skip the pie at Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner to envelope yourself in a 2-for-1 punch of pumpkin pie flavor and that “holiday haze ;D” giggle while seated in front of the fireplace.

Now, I’ll be honest - I don’t totally hate pumpkin pie - it’s just not my thing for dessert. I guess after the humongous slew of store bought generic crap to some miserably failed recipes, my taste and desire for pumpkin pie has dwindled down to only praising whomever could put their heart into making that pie. Only when I tasted this martini was when I was reminded that I do miss the genuinely authentic taste of creamy pumpkin pie, fluffy whipped cream, and my favorite part of all, the toasted, crispy, yet melt-on-your-lips-til-your-girlfriend-calls-it-cheating graham cracker crust.

From the moment it touches your lips, it’s more like someone had added shots of warm intoxication to your pie rather than someone making a flavorous drink to mimic your triangle (or semi-circle) of goodness. The taste of pie lingers in your mouth from start to finish, fading away slowly, as if to remind you that this is what holiday sweetness should taste like and why it is everlasting. The hint of vodka is almost negligible and in no time at all will have you singing holiday tunes with your loved ones uncontrollably out of tune. The texture will have you reminisce that first creamy spoonful you had ever shoveled into your face during your favorite dinner, with a smooth, milky whipped liquid, coercing your tongue to frolic wildly to absorb the taste rather than consume it. Alongside the whipped cream and coarsely crushed graham cracker “crust” on the rim, it’ll create a newly found sugar addiction you never knew you had until you’ve realized you’ve licked the rim to the glass and crave more!

This is your family favorite in a glass, if you hadn’t loved it before, you will love it in this form as it is sure to keep you warm at heart while bathing in the warmth of the loved ones enjoying this holiday dessert by your side.

- David S.

What? What’s that? Want to know the mixmaster behind this tastebud tantalizing drink? Drop by his Facebook Fan Page and give him a “Like” to check out his other suggested recipes to “Wow!” your guests at your next gathering! Also, if you like these recipe/reviews on Tumblr, please remember to hit that +Follow button for more taste tests to come!

• Nuclear Lemonade 2.0 •

• 2.0 oz 151 Rum
• 0.5 oz Melon Liqueur
• Splash Lemonade
• “Secret Glowing Ingredient” (if the EPA finds out, I’m dead x_x)

I don’t know about the rest of you, but as a child, I was always mesmerized by the neon color of anti-freeze. At one point, I thought, “I wonder what it tastes like!” DON’T worry! I didn’t try it. My odd nature is the sum of a compilation of life experiences. My attempt was thwarted by a group of adults. Shucks.

Looking like it was served straight out of a bar in the nuclear wastelands, Nuclear Lemonade 2.0 radiates somewhat of a confusion among lookers. You might ask, “Is this going to kill me?” In short, possibly. If you’re allergic lemonade, alcohol, and glowing aesthetic beauty.

From the first sip that I took, the taste of beautifully tainted lemonade sent a refreshing yellowish wave over my taste buds, cooling them, with a bit of a sharp, naughty nibble, before taking that jump into my esophagus to arm it’s explosive charges. The taste of sweet and sour lingers only for a few seconds on your tongue and then vaporizes into an invisible mushroom cloud, calling to the other taste ions still sitting in your glass, awaiting their release. With 2 full ounces of 151 proof rum, danger is simply inevitable, but the fact that this heavyweight can put on a sweet mask and sneak in like a ninja makes this drink purely awesome.

Cut, wait, no, no, no. That’s not it. I know it’s not!

A great refreshment to enjoy while on your porch during the day or on the rooftop on a warm summer night, the Nuclear Lemonade 2.0 has a simple, “secret ingredient” that causes it to GLOW when sitting under a black light bulb.

Yes, I said glow under a black light!

Yup, your night time rooftop social event just turned into a black light party with this drink. ;D

The only downside warning would go to those sensitive to heavy liquor content. A tiny bit on the bitter side because of the rum, but it is virtually unnoticeable on it’s alliance with melon liqueur (my fave!) and splash of lemonade.

Don’t let the pretty cerulean/yellow/green glow fool you into thinking this is some kind feminine drink that any man is too manly to hold. This right here, ladies and gentlemen, has the caress of the warm summer sun and the brutalizing kick of an A-Class bred bull.

Always remember to please, please, please consume alcohol in a responsible manner. I mean really…who else am I going to get to read my experiences with these fine drinks? >;)

- David S.

What? What’s that? You want to know the mixmaster behind these drinks? Visit his Facebook Fan Page and give him a “Like”! Possibly some tickling!